Procastination

Posting things (to be done) in future.

What makes us undisciplined? Unconformist to the timely pressures? Because discipline, responsibility takes away the freedom necessary for thought and action?

The responsibility carries in its core the reasons, obligations, expectations, tons of burdens. And thus the mind is no longer free as it is doing something because of some external reason and not out of pure pleasure or curiosity or passion. And thus it rebels and makes us hate the task. The frivolent, effervescent mental spirit is doomed. The reactions is to procastinate.

Minds need to fly in order to create, explore and to really enjoy playing with the reality. And flying needs a free endless sky of no limits.

Waiting for the trains of Determinism, Fatalism to crush me over

Lets say determinism, fatalism is the universal truth. Every event in this material universe is already predicted. This would mean that position, and velocity of every fundamental particle (electrons, protons, neutrons) at given point in this universe is pre-determined. They are not free to have a different position, velocity at a given time. That is they are not free at all.

It means thus I am doomed to my destiny. Utterly bound to it. No matter what I do. What I don't do. Where I go. Whatever I think. I will meticulously reel out the destined through me. I can't avoid the eternal inevitability. However I may fight it. Deny it. Try to stop it. What is destined to happen will happen. And I with all my agreements or disagreements will only help the eternal destiny manifest its plan.

Some higher intelligence, processes have even determined my free-will. My intentions, inclinations, thoughts are pre-determined by some pre-pre-past. The free-will I experience is just superficial. Illusion.

What can I do?

Thus karma is something that I am pushed into. Pushed to intend good, bad, or nothing in my illusionary free-will.

What can I do?

Than just wait to be crushed by the fatal-train.....

The ecstasy of mind

Ecstasy! The mental sauna, the mattress of ultimate comfort! Who doesn't want it?

What should be input so that output is ecstasy?

Touch, Taste, Smell, Sight, Sound are five ways known to us for input. The five indriya. The five senses.

We abundantly play with our five senses, and attempt to experience the ecstasy all the time. All our actions, karmas are intended for it. Towards it. Anything else is meaningless, fruitless.

But our five sense are only five out of possibly infinite ways to reach the ecstasic state. What are the other ways? Who else other than humans is experiencing this cosmic-pleasure? Is it different than ours? More importantly better than ours? How can we know?

What happens in this pleasure? Where do we get transported to? Do we get tuned to certain frequency vibrations emitting off some stations of universe? Who is emitting them? What do I do to receive?

Where am I?

Asking this question to myself all through day brought me back to the present moment every time, and made the moments extremely relishing which otherwise would be lost in thinking over what happened, why it happened, who said what, who did what, why I did that?. It needs a conscious and free-willed decision. To interrupt the play of thoughts, and free up brain cycles. To grab the stolen attention back. Aggressively.

If I don't attend to the present moment, the present moment won't attend to me. And thus I am inevitably missing the life the present moments comes packed with.

Breaking-off the from past, future, and REACTING with the present moment....now! Where I cannot even think I am here, as by then I am not. Simply remind myself that "I am".

Brains at work, Do not disturb!

Synapses, Synapses and millions of them. Left and right hemispheres are so different, though the building blocks are same, the neuron cells. Is it just in their arrangement? That produces different types of specializations in both hemispheres? Left being language, logic, time aware, and right being holistic, creative, artistic and music aware. What makes them so different? How many other possible arrangements of cells could be there, that could result in different types of intelligent beings? Who knows! These brains drive us or we drive them? Who follows who? Who watches who?

Are they just the playground for thoughts?

All thinking happening in these tiny brain cells. All co-ordinations taking place, co-relations getting set, and multitude of parallel activities getting controlled, without our conscious awareness. Some infinitely profound mechanism must handle them. Is that mechanism our self-sub-conscious? How can we know what's happening inside our brains? Are there thoughts getting processed without even us being ware?

Messing with Karma!

what's the karma of an atom? Or of mosquito? Or the fly? Or of the sparrow? The fish? Do they even know it?

Is this an invisible ongoing never stopping review in progress? By the subconscious? What if I lose all my subconscious? Can I get free of karma?

If there is karma, the free-will is illusion. And vice versa. Because its the free-will that will lead me to results of my deeds. So not exactly free.

How has karma gotten evolved, I wonder.

Is following instincts good karma? Or is thinking good karma? Is sleeping and doing nothing good karma? What is bad afterall? Anything that comes to mind and doable is good.

If selfishness feels good, why it is bad?

Doing good for oneself. And thinking only of oneself, is how we are instinctively programmed. Now why it is bad? Why not be selfish, spend all the money you have on yourself, and have fun? Because God if at all he created us blessed us with selfishness, so why go against him? Or if we got evolved through a evolutionary process, that process is a selfish process in its core : Survial of the fittest, of the one who can best pursue his own interests and survive. The whole animal kingdom is selfish. A lion would not mercy on deers, or share his kill with fellow lions. And so do many other animals.

Its only after great levels of civilization, that we are able to think of others. Or able to show selflessness. Of doing good. And being not selfish. But that's just superficial and is not how we have evolved. We have the animal roots. The selflessness is a higher, newer process, requiring us to go against years of evolutionary programming. And how can we be selfless after all? What makes people feel good being selfless?

What if everyone got transformed and started to be selfless? No one will succeed to their goal, because success of someone means failures of many others. You cannot be selfless while fighting or competing. You have to be selfish. To defend, protect, yourself. And preserve yourself at cost others injuries, failures. And even destroy them if needed.

The obessession with the idea of God!

God everywhere in every being, non-being.
God in my mind,
God in my heart,
God in beauty,
God in beast,

Then where is me? Why is me? Who is me? Where is anything but God?